My First Silent Retreat: A Journey Into Stillness
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to spend five days in complete silence? No talking, no phones, no music—just you, your thoughts, and the stillness. A few years ago, I would have laughed at the idea. Silence seemed impossible, even intimidating.
But as part of my MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) teacher training, I had to attend a five-day silent retreat. In January 2019, I packed my bags and headed to Germany, curious about what the experience would bring. It felt like an intentional way to start the year, even if I wasn’t quite sure what to expect.
When I told my friends and family about it, the reactions were priceless.
"Wait, how does that even work? What do you do with people if you’re not allowed to talk?"
Good question. I didn’t really know the answer. But part of me was excited to find out.
Entering the Silence
The retreat began with clear rules:
No talking—at all, not even during meals.
No phones or devices—they were turned off and left untouched.
No books, no music, no distractions.
Just silence.
The idea was to immerse ourselves in the present moment, free from the usual noise and stimulation. I’ll admit, it sounded a bit extreme at first. But as the first day unfolded, I started to see the purpose.
Our days were highly structured, beginning at 7 a.m. and ending around 9 p.m. Each moment was intentional: sitting meditations, walking meditations, body scans, mindful movement, and group nature walks.
We walked in silence, occasionally stopping to practice mindful awareness. We’d pause to listen, to see, to smell, to really notice the world around us. These small moments of shared stillness were surprisingly powerful.
The Monkey Mind
That first evening, my mind was in chaos. It jumped from one thought to another, like a restless monkey swinging from branch to branch. In mindfulness practice, we call this “monkey mind,” and it couldn’t have felt more accurate.
To calm myself, I grabbed a pen and notebook and wrote everything down—every thought, worry, or idea that popped into my head. It was like clearing mental clutter, and it worked. Over the next few days, journaling became my go-to tool whenever my mind felt too noisy.
Surprising Lessons in Silence
By the second day, I began to settle into the rhythm of the retreat. I discovered unexpected moments of joy and insight:
Eating mindfully: Meals were a revelation. I tend to eat quickly, but in silence, I slowed down and truly noticed the flavors, textures, and colors of my food. Each bite felt like an experience to savor.
Nature’s magic: Watching the sunset in complete stillness felt almost sacred. I began to see the beauty in things I’d normally rush past.
Tea rituals: Sipping tea became a mini meditation. I noticed the warmth, the aroma, and the delicate flavors like never before.
Emotional awareness: My emotions felt amplified, like I was riding a roller coaster. But without distractions, I realized these emotions weren’t caused by anything external—they were my own creations.
Boredom as a teacher: At times, I felt bored—no phone, no books, no escape. But boredom became a lesson in patience, and eventually, it disappeared.
The Challenge of Coming Back
After five days, breaking the silence felt strange. When I returned home, I couldn’t immediately share my experience—I wasn’t ready. My first evening back, I ate dinner in silence, as if I needed to hold onto the calm just a little longer.
Even simple tasks, like going to the supermarket, felt overwhelming at first. The noise, the lights, the pace of everyday life—it all seemed so loud after the stillness of the retreat.
But I took something precious with me: a promise to create more space for silence in my daily life.
Why Silence Matters
This retreat taught me that silence isn’t something to fear. It’s a space where you can reconnect with yourself, notice the present moment, and let go of the constant busyness that fills our days.
If you’re curious about mindfulness or considering a retreat, you don’t have to start with five days. Try a weekend, or even a single day. Turn off your phone, spend time in nature, and just be.
Silence has a way of teaching us things we didn’t know we needed to learn.
Photos taken by Dragana Djurdjanovic - MBSR teacher in Serbia
“It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.”
